What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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Do you like impressions? Why? That's Socrates

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Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Have you seen the size of their fingers!?!?!

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How many men does it take to screw a light bulb? One, men will screw anything.

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What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed Nothing it is a sentient object and doesn't have the capability to talk

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Your mother is so fat........... that she is morbidly obese and is at severe risk for diabetes and other weight related diseases.

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What's worse than dropping a dollar down the drain? Getting your nipple ripped off by a pair of pliers

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sdasdadasdasd

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What happened to the boy with AIDS? He died at the age of 12

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Why can't Johnny run? He has no legs.

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Jewwy Jewstein

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What do you call a blue baby at the bottom of a pool? Dead.

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What is another way to call a procrastinator? Avery annoyed and bored child who does not want to do her homework and is looking up many different anti-jokes for a laugh. You know who you are...

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Why cant you find your handle? Because YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!

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It was nice knowing you Erron, it really was.

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What did the blonde get for Christmas? A Brain

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Breast cancer.

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if you give somebody a dollar and they give you a different dollar you both have a dollar

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why do you care?

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John is typing... *2 seconds later" John: Hi

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There must have been something that peaked her interest.

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Why did the chiken cross the road? To bite a rubarb stick.

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which sex position produces the ugliest children? go ask ur mom

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops