why did the little girl fall off the swing. she had no arms so I pushed her off

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yo momma's so fat she sat on a tiny chair and relaxed.

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Why do Eskimos build igloos? Because it is the most practical form of habitation for their climate zone, lifestyle, and availability of materials.

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I swear to god it wasn't me! Dont swear to god its a sin !

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Whats hotter than the sun? Larger stars.

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why did the moose cross the road? to eat the baby.

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When life gives you lemons, find someone with a papercut.

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who is mark

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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knock. knock. whos there? BOWLING SHOE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

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Yo mama so fat that.....NooNoooNooooooo (strips)

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Why did the Kitty stop meowing? Because its dead.

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Roses are red Violets are orange Thats odd, my violets are somehow orange

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Hey, I just met you... No, I'm your brother. You've known me for 30 years. You must have memory loss.

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Why did little Lucy climb up a tree? Cos her dad beats her.

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The Tiarajudens is a Permian land-walrus.

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american government

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Why can't Abraham Lincoln lie? Because he is dead.

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i dont like chris

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A:Knock Knock, B:Who's There? A:Orange, B:Orange Who? A:Orange Banana.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. Cassidy's a whore so open the door.

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A chinese man walks into a bar, and he see's his friends they are black, mexican, white, and paki. This is their meeting place for their group on racial equality.

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What did the monkey say to the owner of the world's rarest stamp? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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