what did the blind deaf mute boy get for christmas? some nice presents.

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What is large, white, and can't climb trees? A refrigerator.

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"Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains." "Well that sounds like a mental illness and I deal predominantly with physical ailments"

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If Jimmy has 60 candy bars and eats 50 of them, what does he have? Diabetes.

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Who would win in a fight between a polar bear and a tiger? Considering that they live in different habitats, the chances are very unlikely that they would ever interact.

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The 17 year old buy called his computers support number to remove a virus from his old computer, so he can gift the computer to his little cousin for his birthday. But before giving the computer to his cousin he downloaded over 120 hours of adult film onto it.

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What's the difference between dead babies and Christmas lights? I don't have Christmas lights hanging on my Christmas tree...

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is dead.

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Why are pirates called pirates? Because it derives from the Latin word, pirata.

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What's worse than molding bread? Babies in the toaster.

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I have Alzheimer. What?

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What is less sanitary than eating food off of the ground? Anal sex.

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You know how to torture Hellen Keller? -No. Put a plunger in the toilet.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Drive an ax through its head.

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why did the boy drown? because water entered his lungs and suffocated him.

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On Friday the 13th,I had one of those dreams of when you go to school in your underwear. I then realised it wasn't a dream.

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An old couple walks up to me and says, "can you take our picture? It's our 50th anniversary." I reply, "sure." Then I pull the man to the side and ask, "how do you make a relationship last so long? I can't make one last 50 days let alone years." He leans in and says, "cheat"

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Straight men can be bronies.

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what do a fish and wood have in common? when they're dead, they float

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What's sad about the Holocaust? well i don't know ,it may or may not have anything to do with you and cause absolutely no sad emotions toward the subject. I for one don't care.........

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What is long and black The unemployment line

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watermelons are red, pineapples are yellow. i'm not a poet, say hello for me.

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What do you get when you put a cat in a Xerox machine? A copycat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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