A white man wakes up in the middle of the night and sees a black burglar trying to steal his hard earned possessions that he slaved many hours for, being a man who enjoyed living a man of luxury and hates people of foreign nature who steal his things said to him. " get out"

Why did the kid kid have no arms? A clown came and chopped them off.

Keep up the fun Nero!

I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump!

guess what? What? you have to guess...your mama

If I was a regular squirrel, I would be pissed at flying squirrels.

A man is training his dog. He tells the dog to sit. The dog sits. "Good boy!" said the man. The dog did not thank the man for the compliment because dogs cannot speak.

Women.

Why did the elephant cross the road? It was the chickens day off. haha its funny

What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick

What did Michael Jackson think when someone threw a tomato off his head? The same as he was thinking before it happened, because everything that goes through Michael Jackson's head is pornographic images.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

Whats worse than a gay pride parade? Genocide.

Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice? She was making sure there was enough sugar in it in case her diabetic son was to have an attack.

Why'd the aborted fetus cross the road? 9/11

A blond and a redhead are walking down the street the red head says look a dead bird the blond looks up

What is the Pope's favourite dish to order from the local Indian take-away? Korma.

4 black people in a car drive of a cliff. the sad thing is there was a extra seat.

Knock Knock! Who's there? What do you mean... we have been having a conversation for a half hour now... that's your name you idiot, Knock Knock!

Three Jews walk into a bar. One says something to the other two, but it was in Yiddish, and I don't speak that, so I don't know what he said, but all of them laughed really hard, so it must have been funny.

Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

roses are red violets are blue shut the fuck up or ill fuck you

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

I just met you! And this is crazy! I just took bath salts, and yor face looks tasty!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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