what do you call a newborn baby? anything you want.

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What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo.

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javascript:alert("your own");

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Why did the guy throw a clock out his window? Because he was mentally unstable and needs help.

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There are two gingerbread men in an oven and the one says " it's hot in here" the other says "holy crap it's a talking cookie!!!!!!!!"

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Want to hear a cat joke? Just kitten.

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What is the square root of 69? 8.30662386

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? The bench can support a family.

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What did the man say when he was asked if he recently saw a mime painting a lawn chair in the middle of December? "No." , and walked away, slightly confused by the matter.

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Kenny died. The Bastards.

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A black man trips and falls down. You help him up and ask him if he needs any help. After a brief friendly talk you both continue on your separate ways.

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A man buys a kitten from the store. He gets home, takes it out of its cage, and realizes that it wasn't the kitten he wanted. He then returns to the store and exchanges for the kitten he originally wanted, but then decides to keep both because he is feeling particularly hungry.

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A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead walk into a bar. There is also a woman with black hair standing outside, and the man next to her is bald.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Penis... Okay...

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Why did the potato commit suicide? Forget that. Why was the potato alive in the first place?

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what did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

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Bye, Ax... Nerochan, you just gonna leave me in this state? I mean wont you stop it? I know hypnosis and all but I mean I have like black belt in hypnosis but since you began it, I do not really want to stop it.

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A man walks into a bar. While he sits on a barstool, a man greets him politely, and they proceed with light conversation.

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What does a paralysed mans legs feel like? We don't know, he is paralysed

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What is purple and crawls? A wounded grape.

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How much does a polar bear way? Near 1,100 pounds.

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Why was it sad that the kid was playing football? He had no arms and legs and he was the football.

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Why is Bruce Wayne named Batman and Tim Drake named Robin? They wanted to hunt bats and robins whenever someone does something bad.

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Knock Knock Who's there? A mormon *slam*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops