Why did the orange fall asleep? Because its never awake.

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So there's this bigass moose, and it goes in the store and it asks the lady bitch "where the potatoes at" and the lady bitch says "down aisle 5" so the moose goes down to isle 5 and there aint no potatoes.

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whats cold and in a box...have a guess

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How do you make a business man cry? Hit him in the face with a brick

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Whats very large and produces alot of seamen. The US navy

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Worst joke to tell an orphan. Knock knock. Who's there. Not your parents

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Why did the black man go to the gym? Because he was severely fat and would live a short life if he didn't lose weight.

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Why did Frank go to the doctor? He had a bad case of the ebeyjeebes.

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Q: how do you crush a Chinese man's dreams? A: tell him he is worthless and will never prosper.

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what do you call a gay bird a gaybird

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A man walks into a zoo. There is only one animal, a dog. It's a shitzu.

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What's the difference between a catcher's mitt and Lou Ferrigno? If you seriously said "I don't know, what?" I suggest getting a medical examination by a professional psychologist.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme coffee table.

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Once upon a time.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Nobody knows, he was hit by a car.

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How do you jump off a bridge? You jump

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Why didn't little billy have any friends? Billy bought a rifle, and shot everyone he had ever seen or talked to, even his family. Billy then tripped on his walk home and fell off a bridge, and into the ocean. Then a shark came and swallowed him. That is why you should never kill your friends and family because it will come back and bite you. Don't be like billy

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Patient: Doctor Doctor! Doctor: Yes. Patient: I think I'm a moth! Doctor: You don't need a doctor, you need Mental help. Patient: Yes I know. Doctor: Then why are you here? Patient: The light was on.

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what did the man do when he went to save the other man from drowning? drowned with him...

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family!

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Q. What's louder than one dinosaur? A. A whole bunch of dinosaurs.

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shea kisses a girl

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Why do people like the number 69? Because some people have favorite numbers, and 69 is a number.

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Barack Obama, George W. Bush and Dick Cheney are in a room, what are they doing? A: Breathing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops