A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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A visibly exhausted and distressed man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink. "Long day?" the bartender asks. Since the man understands the meanings of most common phrases he responds in the correct and expected manner.

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a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z which one does not belong answer: none

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Q: What's better than ice cream? A: Two ice creams! Q: What's better than 2 ice creams? A: Still two ice creams!

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If life gives you lemons, don't accept them because you have a citrus allergy.

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What did the salad say to the dressing? Nothing! Carrots don't talk!

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What did the veterinarian say to the dog? Ohhh who is a good dog? You are!

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the real mccoy

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hi patrick

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Two cows were on a field, one cow say "moo", the other... didn't say anything because it wasn't a cow

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whats brown? poop.

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One day, on a train. 30 white, violently, racist people where crowding a black man minding his own business. An asian person walked through and was kicked, stabbed and stomped on until he died.

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What do you call a depressed nerd who plays WoW. Me....

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? Because it wanted to be a monkey? Why did the John fall out of the tree? Because he has no arms and legs because he suffers from a severe case of lepracy. Why did Timmy fall off his bike? Because he got hit by three monkeys, a fridge and a boy with no limbs.

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Hi

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What do you call a man that goes to work every day to provide for his family? A spoon

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How did Muhammed Ali get into Professional Boxing? With a lot of hard work and dedication.

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

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Why did spongebob eat Patrick Because he was hungry

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Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station . . .

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Knock knock Who's there? Rick Rick who? Your wife's boss. I regret to inform you that your wife has sustained a injury on the job and she is in intensive care... I also regret to inform you that your insurance doesn't cover the injury

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What happens when you are a fat 37 year old virgin, with a small penis, poor bone structure, pale skin, a horrible personality, and no friends? You spend all night writing anti-jokes...will someone please like me?

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Your mama's teeth are so yellow... She should think about scheduling an appointment at a local dentist's office.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose body parts were all adequate and thus could not perform any odd sexual acts upon himself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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