1. A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''

roses are red violets are blue my cat died and i have alsheimers who are you

How do you make Al Gore cry? Kill his daughter.

Why was the girl angry? She's PMSing. Give her a banana and stay away.

What do you call poop in a black man's toilet? Poop.

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

If 1 + 2 = 3 Then, what does 2 + 1 equal? It equals 3 due to the fact that reversing the order of numbers does not change the outcome of the equation :D

Teacher:What is the outer layer of a tree? Dog:Bark. Teacher: What is the square root of 69? Dog:8.30662386

What did Helen Keller say to a stranger at a party? I earned a Bachelor of Arts degree, wrote several books, traveled to over 39 countries, and was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom, one of the United States' highest two civilian honors, from President Lyndon B. Johnson.

Why do mexicans have so many children??? Because condoms resemble skinny balloons.

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Why did the man wear a blue shirt? He didn't. He wore a green one.

Three blokes walk into a bar. I'm british.

so one day i was getting my daughter artemisia ready for school and so i came in her room and got her pants and so i put it on and then i said did you grow during the summer really did you and then she said daddy both of my feet are stuck on one side of the leg

wanna hear a joke. i do to

Why was Jimmy upset? Someone kept pouring liquid nitrogen on him.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Mind your own business.

What was the doctor's shirt made out of? Cotton

Knock knock Come in No you supposed to say who's there Oh, who's there? Jennifer Come in No, you supposed to say Jennifer who Oh, Jennifer who? Forget it

What do you call a black man in the olympics? An olympian.

It burns when I pee sometimes.

What is funnier than an uncontrolled explosions? Most things, because explosions damage property, and cause deaths.

Why didn't Jim go to the party? He wasn''t invited.

Q: What is worse than seven babies in a trash can? A: One baby in seven trash cans. Q: What is worse than one baby in seven trash cans? A: The Holocaust.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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