HOLY SHIT BITCH!!!

GOOD AFTERNOON KIND SIR OR MADAM THIS IS THE KUNDALINI EXPRESS MAY I TAKE YOUR ORDER

Larry stopped by today to drop of a package. The package was a bomb. So I gave the "gift" to my neighbor for her birthday. My Mom is my neighbor.

I have no ideas.

roses are cows violets are oranges im mental are you too

what do you call a dog with no legs? doesnt matter what you call him, he aint coming!

Where do black people get there hair cut? At a hairdresser.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a fish.

how do you wake lady gaga up? you punch-her-face

Want to hear a dead baby joke? Abortion

Hey i just met you and this is crazy Get in the van

That awkward when you adimaticlly read "moment in your head because you have seen too many of these awkward moment jokes.

Your everything I've ever dreamed of you sing like a bird your gorgeous your funny your friendly your sensitive your caring your unique and one day I will kill you.

whats green and has wheels? grass i lied about the wheels

why did the girl like d1ck? because d1ck was a nice boy

So a disabled man walks into a bar...

Q.If you are European in the bathroom, what are you in the kitchen? A. A woman.

What time is it? Actually, that sentence is grammatically wrong: what is IT?

What is the funny thing about suicide? nothing...

Did you hear about Judith? she was hit by a bus!

What is the answer to the universe? I would tell you but you would get board.

Whats worse than a dead whore? 9/11

What's a ghost favourite colour? Ghosts don't exist.

What's the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes back from camp.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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