A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Cancer

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as i unscrewed my belly button and suddenly my butt fell off

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he had more fat than average, so he was very buoyant

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I see, said the deaf man to the blind guy.

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What's the difference between red hair and black hair? Redheads vs. blackheads

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Q. Why did the man fall off his bike? A. He was hit by a canoe.

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Why are black people faster than white people? They are descended from a lineage where athleticism was more greatly selected for in the evolutionary process.

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Whats the differance between a preist and acne? Acne dosent cum on your face untill your 12

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why do they call it history? Women didn't do shit

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whats white and gooy liguid goop

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What did the frog say to the beautiful sleeping princess? Ribbit

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why did the painter cry? he didnt have any paint left...

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If I had a dollar for every funny joke on this site... I would have quite a few dollars. I would't be rich, but I'd have enough money to pay for me and three friends to go see a movie. So I'm talking like $40-$55, give or take. However, do keep in mind that that cost does not include the purchase of any popcorn/food/beverages.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Say, "Wake up!"

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Knock Knock Whose there? Get out of the bathroom Get out of the bathroom who? No, your in the bathroom

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What's the best thing to say to a deaf person? Nothing. They are hearing impaired and won't hear you.

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No, but it was a nice chance to pretend to, that was the scheme part I might have mentioned, people never figure out that you are fucking them over at the present, if you tell them you fucked them off in the past, they start thinking backwards, often ignoring those tiny details straight in front of them. Listen, call me a bit paranoid, but who the hell is Septimus and AzureDragon or whatever the fuck his little geek name was?

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Your mother is so stupid she never finished College thus having to work many menial jobs to provide for her family.

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q: why do mens testicles hang? a: so woman can kick us in em

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What do you call a guy who set's pancakes on fire? Mentally confused, and in need of a psychiatrist.

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What ticks like a clock and has numbers on it? A clock.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are rather unintelligent animals which evidently do not understand the dangers of crossing a busy road.

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What do you say when Obama gets shot? Some finaly had enough balls to shoot a black person. N.P.P.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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