What's there like a good neighbor? Your neighbor

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What's worse than getting hit by an arrow in the knee? Being kidnapped for 10 years and finally getting free only to find out your whole family was murdered by the person who kidnapped you.

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Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkled? Because if they were small, white, and round they'd be called aspirin.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? 12:00

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Why cant Hellen Keller Drive? Because shes a women.

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Why was Timmy dirty? Because he was buried

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roses are flowers violets are too violets are purple not fuing blue

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Q:How do you turn off a Jewish Lamp? A: You press the Auschwitz.

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Rebbeca black walked into a bar on Saturday

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Why was johny late to school? He died

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My wife crashed the car while listening to Adele last night. She ended up rolling in the jeep.

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A black man walks into a predominantly white bar and is laughed at hysterically, the man is a world class comedian.

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HAVING OTHER LESBIAN'S OVARIES C AUGHT A AROUND U MBRELLAS SITTING TREES

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How many jews can you fit in a car? However many seats there are

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? The wind. The wind who? ...

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How do you fix America's national security issues? Nuke russia

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What did the Engineer say to the English major? Hey we went to the same school and got different degrees! Cool!

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How can you tell your woman is cheating on you? When you witness her having sexual relations with another man that she is clearly enjoying.

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What's long, hard, and full of semen? a penis.

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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What did the finger say to the thumb? Nothing, fingers can't talk.

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stop it ryan vallee

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? -she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzy

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What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear and a dolphin? Well, the odds of these two animals mating are slim to none. Due to the undeniable fact that dolphins live in the ocean primarily in the warmer tropical waters and grizzly bears live on land in the pacific northwest where the water would be too cold for the dolphin anyway. The dolphin would be swimming around avoiding sharks and the bear would probably be eating a salmon. But if they did breed you would get a dolphinbear. Although a dolphinbear would have a very low chance of survival given it's part dolphin. Dolphins are pussies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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