Why couldn't santa eat cookies and milk at little Jimmy's house? He has diabetes and is unable to stray from a strict diet prescribed by his local doctor.

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what do you call a duck with no legs? a sitting duck

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"Knock Knock" "Who's There?" "Sara" "Come in, we will have a cup of coffee in the good company of each other."

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You have a birthday party and invite 5 celebrities: Britney spears, Lady Gaga, Hulk Hogan, Barack Obama, and Oprah. Meanwhile, there is a cow in a nearby pasture pooping.

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A Jew doesn't walk out of the Holocaust.

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Why did johnny fall down? He got hit in the head with a brick

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Why does the jailbird sing? It makes Bubba horny.

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im a selling a car

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Chuck Norris will die sometime in the future.

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A guys walks up to a drug dealing looking to score some drugs. The deal was made an the man quickly arrested the drug dealer because he was actually a undercover cop

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haiku's are stupid, and do not always make sense, refrigerator.

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SAD STORY: Boy: Make me a sandwich. Girl: No.

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Make an effort in life whenever you want. Fight trough life when you got no other choice.

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Q. Why did the black man get sent to prison? A. Because he was falsely accused of murder.

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There are four black people near each other ? KITKAT !!! :D

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A father gives some golf balls to his son on his son's birthday. The son then goes into the woods with the golf balls, and then comes out without the golf balls. "What did you do with the golf balls?" asks the father. The son says nothing. On Christmas the father gives his son more golf balls, and the son does the same thing. He goes into the woods with them, and leaves without them. Again the father asks what he did with the golf balls, and the son says nothing. This happens for many holidays to come, until the son gets hit by a bus. In the ambulence, the father asks; "One last question ,what did you do with the golf balls?" The son dies

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Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He has been diagnosed with chronic insomnia.

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Don't you hate it when you're reading a sentence and it doesn't end how you testicles. _._._

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Benevolent villain.

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Hi colton

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a guy asks another guy if he likes pepsi or coke the guy says coke and he doesnt agree so he kills him

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What olympic event is Kosovo best known for getting gold? Kosovo is the world's newest country and therefore does not yet have complete international recognition.

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a muslim walks in to a bar... there were no survivors

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This desk is two chromebooks wide. It will be one once I push yours off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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