How do you make a blond cry? Rape her

thumb_up thumb_down +17

You're in a room with your friend, and you see some one being eaten by a monster. Who's getting eaten? No one, monsters aren't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

R2-D2 is quite possibly the most vulgar character on the set of Star Wars. Every word he says is bleeped out.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Vagina-Boob

thumb_up thumb_down +15

dave lee travis walks into a radio station , plays some records , talks randomly , and a good time is had by all.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Once upon a time, a princess was hungry. and there was a frog wearing a tux for some reason.so the princess ate him. THE END.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Wow, thats warming to the core Nero, you are really sweet when you want to, I was having a lot more than second thoughts, I mean I do not mind the thought of sex with you really and I mean that, but losing who I already consider my best friend would just be sad. So uh, sex once huh? I mean, one more feather on the uh, hat thing, is that what this is about to you?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: I am an over-protective father looking for my son who was kidnapped and am suddenly traveling with a mentally retarded woman who cant remember her name. By the way my wife was murdered and my son has physical disorder. Then, im hooked up with a hippy who doesnt care about anything. Who am I? A: Marlin the clownfish (from Finding Nemo).

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Whats 9 + 10? 19

thumb_up thumb_down +15

When life gives you lemons,you say thank you.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What is red and invisible? No tomatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Does this napkin chloroform?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What would you do if you're eyes just suddently exploded? You would never see again.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

whats the best way to burn calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? A: The backyard gate was left open

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the mother say to her baby? These little piggies taste good!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why couldn't the blonde change the light bulb? because he chose the wrong sized screwdriver from his tool box

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why couldn't the little boy see anything? It was dark outside.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

me:I will trade you 5 dollars for 10 dollars blond: Okay! me: ...

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the monkey eat his own poop? Because there was minimal resources where he was so he resorted to eat his own fecal matter

thumb_up thumb_down +13

GIRLS that think they can out-drink MEN.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: Why happened to the dead whale? A: It was shot by Asian pochures.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

do you know what i see in the perfect girl? my dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops