Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

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why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

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-Is your refrigerator running? -Yes. -Just wondering.

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What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs. Why did noone help her up? She was fat.

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How does your sister ride a bicycle? My sister does not have any legs.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind.

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What do you call a pig that does karate? By its name. Pigs are often referred to by something regarding the 'Oink' sound that they make. Perhaps in this instance, the pigs name was Oinky. However, this is only a supposition. The range of names is really too wide to make a fair prediction.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

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What do the Irish do on their birthdays? Eat birthday cake and sing happy birthday

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Why Was the straight man in love ? because he was an intelligent human being who had the formula of understanding woman .

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Why do giraffes have long necks? To connect their bodies to their heads.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground. He didn't. chickens are unsanitary to have in schools

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What do you call a duck who votes democrat? A duck

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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Black, I dont know if you are kidding around or something, but I cant reach you on the phone pal, I am really sorry about the Valium, it was like only 10 milligrams pal, I mean please man, it was a joke, and Ill break up with Line anyways, I mean Alex and Petter are sorry too okay? Just take the phone, ill be there soon, I mean come on, you are the most cruel person I know, lets talk about it

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What did the fish say after it's head was cut off? Nothing, it was a fish.

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what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, you already told her twice.

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What happened to the Jewish child that used to live life like a normal kid? Him and his family were taken to a ditch and shot to death. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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How many men does it take to change a light bulb? None, there is nothing wrong with the light bulb.

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KCLTLMBAIMWSSHTCAWGAHW

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Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

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Why did the turtle cross the road? Because there was a chicken stapled to his face.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He did it for fitness.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops