A priest, a rabbi and a scientologist walk into a bar. They discuss their various religious viewpoints until the scientologist gets a call informing him of his mother's death. The priest buys him a drink. Then the priest gets a call informing him of his mothers death. The rabbi buys him a drink. The rabbi gets a call. The scientologist expects it to be about the rabbi's mother dying, so he prematurely buys him a drink. It was actually the lottery commission telling the rabbi he won 48 million dollars.

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What do you call thousands of people running through london? The marathon

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Q: how do you get a clown off a swing? A: You hit it with a axe

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Why aren't there Olympics in Mexico? Idk Because everyone that can run jump or swim are already across the boarder.

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How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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Katy perry isn't on clould nine because it's physicaly impossible to stand on water persipitation.

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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Q: why do orphans always go hard? A: because the can never go home.

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A man walks into a bar and then, after a relatively short period of time, walks out of the bar.

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A man and a woman walk into a bar... They both die from cerebral hemorrhages.

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How many midgets does it take to change a light bulb? If you do the math, it's probably one.

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How many chickens did Moses bring to the ark? 2

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What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

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What happened when the boy got sad He fell in a woodchipper

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What do you call a black man with big cuts on his arms? You call an ambulance to help him!

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So a guy gets drunk and walks into a gay bar by accident He then yells I LOVE PENIS!!!!! everyone yells oh yeaaaaaaaaaa

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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What is funny about civil and women's rights? Nothing, they are very serious matters.

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Repeat after me: Silk, Silk, Silk, What's the square root of 465?

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Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Bartender asks her, "why the long face?". She tells him it's from her parent's genes.

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HOREY SHIT!! OMFG!! I win? Yeah I think so.. Wait. Why am I talking to myself.. Aww not again.. My doctor warned me about this.. D:

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Where was the Decoration Of Independence Signed? At the bottom.

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What did the blind man say to his wife? -would you mind helping me upstairs, for I cannot see.

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Q: What causes earthquakes? A: Your mother walking.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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