What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

Your big dick.

“DTF”? Says Will. “No” says Harper.

What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

A jew walked out of a bar then goes to the other bar across the street then walks out from the back door to go to another bar The Actions of this jew tells us that there are only 3 bars in the zone and one pet shop

Why didn't the woman have a penis? Because she was female.

What did the hand say to the face? Nothing because body parts cannot speak.

A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

Why was the blackman fired from his job? Beacuse he was late too many times which was unacceptable.

Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

How do you make a baby understand what you want? You color yourself purple, wear a yellow shirt, and do cart wheels while singing "The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round!"

You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

What's better than a stick? A stone

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

Knock Knock. Whose there? The IRS. All your base are belong to us.

A blind man walks into a library.

Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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