What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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Q: how do you get a clown off a swing? A: You hit it with a axe

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Why aren't there Olympics in Mexico? Idk Because everyone that can run jump or swim are already across the boarder.

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Katy perry isn't on clould nine because it's physicaly impossible to stand on water persipitation.

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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A priest, a rabbi and a scientologist walk into a bar. They discuss their various religious viewpoints until the scientologist gets a call informing him of his mother's death. The priest buys him a drink. Then the priest gets a call informing him of his mothers death. The rabbi buys him a drink. The rabbi gets a call. The scientologist expects it to be about the rabbi's mother dying, so he prematurely buys him a drink. It was actually the lottery commission telling the rabbi he won 48 million dollars.

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What do you call thousands of people running through london? The marathon

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how did sally die? she starved because she cant get in to get the nuggets.

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What is funny about civil and women's rights? Nothing, they are very serious matters.

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Repeat after me: Silk, Silk, Silk, What's the square root of 465?

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What did the Asian say to his racist friend? You're racist

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a man walked into a bar, sat down and had a drink with his friends.

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What did Tarzan shout when he saw the elephants coming? "Here come the elephants!"

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OMG I JUST FOUND THE GREATEST WEBSITE YOU SHOULD TOTALLY CHECK IT OUT OMG ITS http://anti-joke.com/submit

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Q: What causes earthquakes? A: Your mother walking.

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What did the blind man say to his wife? -would you mind helping me upstairs, for I cannot see.

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Where was the Decoration Of Independence Signed? At the bottom.

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HOREY SHIT!! OMFG!! I win? Yeah I think so.. Wait. Why am I talking to myself.. Aww not again.. My doctor warned me about this.. D:

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How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

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Q: What do you call a fish with no eye? A: Fssshh

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How do you stop an aboriginal from drowning? Take your foot off his head...

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Why didn't the man get into Harvard? Because he had bad grades

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Why was King Triton mad at Ariel? Her grades were under the C.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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