- Anti Joke

yo mama's so fat, that he doctors are slightly worried that she may be suffering from type 2 diabetes.

What's better than wining the para Olympics? Wining the Olympics.

What did Robin do in between crime fighting? He had a paper route.

there are three types of people in this world, those who can't count, and those who can. STFU, you corny loser

Roses are red Violets are blue, Eat my anus with a spoon.

What's worse than aids? Being a virgin.

Q: what's red and blue and covered in piss? A: everything. I'm so sorry.

Hey, do you wanna hear a joke? A joke.

Q: What do you brush your teeth with, sit on and sleep in? A: A toothbrush, a chair and a bed

knock knock, who's there me me who he opens the door a kills yo

whats worse then getting a parking ticket? the plague

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

So seriously you have never ever played videogames before?

What did the buisness man say to the hobo? Nothing, he threw an apple at him and laughed!

Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

what makes a knight in shining armor a knight in shining armor? he has to have armor and be a knight.

Why was Timmy crying? Because he got raped.

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

A Mexican, Asian, and a black guy are on a bridge, the Mexican says there is too much rice and throws some off the bridge, the Asian says there are too many burritos and throw some off the bridge, the Black says there are too many candles in his house and throws his car off the bridge. Everyone was happy and left besides the Black because he threw his car off.

why did the teacher quit her job and become a musician? Because her class was very mean to her and growing up she had always wanted to play music

Why did Sarah fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.... Knock, Knock, Who's there?: Not Sarah

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

what did the soup kitchen give people for christmas Meatloaf] -Fluzturnusturbusturcusterdustur

A man walks into a bar, orders a drink, drinks it, and leaves.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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