How do you make a nerd cry? Give him a 99% on a test.

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why did the bear cross the road? to get cream cheese.

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What's orange and is a loyalist in the orange order? Caoimhin McCann?

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Everyone believes in something. If you believe "you'll have another drink," you may be an alcoholic.

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What happened when the boy got sad He fell in a woodchipper

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Three Jewish men walk into a butcher. They dont buy any pork products and thank the butcher for his services.

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Your mother is so ugly that her physical appearance causes her to have a low self-esteem.

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what is the difference between hitler and the jews? They had different religions

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a man decided to climb a tree. he got to the top,raised his arms above his head and said "I am on top of the world ". after that he fell because he was not holding on to anything

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Why did the little girl cry? Her mom died

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What did the lampshade say to the other lampshade? Nothing they sat in silence

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In the movie "Sherlock Holmes". Why is Sherlock Holmes gay???? Because he was chasing "Blackwood".

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Hey! Do you like fishsticks? Me too :)

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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Q) A Christian, slightly disabled but perfectly capable man has a packet of Jaffa Cakes. He strolls casually toward the edge of a cliff, rapidly checking his watch. The man slowly examins the packet before gradually opening the packaging. First the box, then the packet. He quickly throws the jaffa cakes over the edge of the cliff, Why? A) The man doesnt like jaffa cakes

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roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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Why did the blonde stay in the five-star hotel? She had enough money.

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So this guy was making a sandwich...

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Q:What did the midget say to the toll booth operator? A: Is your family dead too?

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Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting mauled by a pack of hungry wolves

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Q: Why did they bury the Indian? A: Because he was dead.

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why didn't the baby cry once it came out of the womb? because it was a stillborn.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? ruh-ruh-blah-blah-bluh

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Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger. They had left the keys inside and no-one was around to help.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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