Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pickles.

Rain rain go away, and don't come back or else i will kill your family.

Why did the man walk instead of taking the bus? Because he felt like getting a heathy workout.

what do you get when you cross a broken arm and a broken leg? a broken head.

Q: There's a Brit, Kenyan, German, and Colombian in one room. Where are they? A: Public School

What's worse than getting no presents for Christmas? Ass-rape!

How do you earn a bunch of money all at once? Walk into Hot Topic and say "I have knives for sale!"

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? ?? She had just prepared her breakfast and was late for her full-time job as a police officer.

Dad always said that laughter was the best medicine. Maybe that's why he died of tuberculosis.

What did the Muslim say to the American? Hi

what happened to the slut last time she opened her legs. a bee flew in and stung her. turned out she was deathly allergic. she died a painful death.

first

Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability

why did sally drown? because she had no arms or legs and couldn't swim.

Why couldn't the infant read the book? Because he was blind.

What has 8 legs and makes women scream? .....Gang rape.

so a man walks into a bar, then the prison warden told him to calm doun.

What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

How many trees does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trees are incapable of screwing light bulbs

A man walks into a doctor's office and says "Doctor, it hurts when I poke my leg like this!" The doctor replies "That because there's a knife in your hand."

Mom, how do you make babies? When a daddy and mommy love each other very much... They play with trains and tunnels!(Yay!)

Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

Why did the plane crash? Because a loaf of bread was the pilot.

What's more irritating than a half eaten apple? Some prick taking up half the page with shitty copy and past routine.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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