What is the fastest bird in air? NONE WHO NEEDS TO RIDE BIRDS WHEN YOU HAVE AIROPLANES!!!!

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Why wasn't Kevin Love able to draw a perfect circle. Because, he just wasn't able to get the job done

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What did the psychiatrist say to the man wearing nothing but Saran Wrap? - "That's for food. You should wear clothes instead."

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Ok so a black guy is packing his bags for college and then......... wait a minute?

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what do you get if you cross a retard with ruddell? andrew ruddel

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Hi I'm makena. I'm a cynical asshole

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What's worse than being hit with a falling brick? Being hit with many falling bricks. -ilikecrepes97

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Why do black people have white palms? Genetics.

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Roses are red Bacon is also red Poems are hard Bacon

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the man walk in to the shop and brought a pet nothing

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YOU KNOW WHO ELSE LOVED AND NURTURED ME THROUGH MY CHILDHOOD YEARS? MY MOM.

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Every time a bell rings an angel gets it's wings. What they don't tell you is every time a mouse trap snaps an angel gets set on fire.

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Why did the spy cross the road? To get to the other hide.

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There's an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman. They are all trapped in a jail cell. Eventually they all starved to death.

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Why did the gay man buy a prius? because it is a very fuel efficient car and will save him a lot of money of gas

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Yo mom is so stinky that when she gets in a room every one leaves the room

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I asked my wife to make me a sandwich. I had forgotten she was dead.

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What do you get when you cross a leopard and Chuck Norris? I don't know. Probably something like a furry yellow Chuck Norris with black spots and sharp teeth.

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What does a homeless man get for Christmas? A gun to kill himself with

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A bar walks into a man... The man begins screaming uncontrollably as the corner of the building is inserted into his anus. Brick by brick, the bar forces its way inside the man's ass, as blood begins dripping down his legs. The man knows damn well it is impossible for such a large building to be contained inside him, but he grits his teeth and forces his ass open wider. His ribs break, his lungs collapse, and his now lifeless body is stretched into the shape of the bar. The bar is almost entirely consumed before the man's skin gives way to the bulging pressure...with an explosion of blood & organs, the shredded remains of the man are slung-shot around the lot where the bar formerly stood. The bar, now soaked in a mixture of blood & organ fluid, reflects upon the failure of its experiment. For the next attempt, a man of far greater fortitude must be used, so that his body does not burst so easily. Only then will it achieve its dream of becoming the first bar to walk into a man.

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What do you get when a sister and a brother have sex? A deformed child.

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whats red, sits in a corner and is slowly getting smaller and smaller baby with a cheese grater whats green and sits motionless in the corner same baby 2 weeks later

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What did the homeless man's sign say? It didn't say anything. You had to read it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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