Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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What did the woman say when her boyfriend asked her to marry him? Idk my bff jill.

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Knock knock.

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Why are all the other numbers scared of 7? Beacuse 7 stabbed his mother with a steak knife.

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How do you get a blonde's number? You ask her, but she probably won't give it to a loser like you.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpion

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Knock knock. Who is there? My wife. My wife who? My wife is a prostitute, selling her own body for money so we can afford drugs for my son who has cancer.

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Did you know: it is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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there once was a man, he was old, and he had one wish...do you wanna know that wish? Well i don't know it because he died two seconds ago from a heart attack. Oh Well...

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whats worse than getting ran over by a car seeing your mum having sex

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There was a a round house with no corners.How many corners were there? 100 ,I never said that that it had to be that house.

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Oh NOES! She does worry about me! YOU MUST APOLOGIZE! Relax, the body has two sources of happy drugs, one is the sweet calm stuff I am really bad at, and the other comes with adrenaline and stuff, the name of which I do not remember, both are important, but yeah, I am a thrill seeker, and when I do not find them, I make a thrill out of whatever I got, whatever that means.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm colorblind.

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Guy 1: "hey look that homeless guy is riding a bike!" Guy 2 " Ya i know and look, there's a dead pro biker other there"

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Why was King Triton mad at Ariel? Her grades were under the C.

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Have you seen stevie wonders new house No Neither has he

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What did the man with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike

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oh hai i'm al gore reduce ur carbon footprint lolz

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What Did Gretel say to Hansel? Stop having sex with Ariana Grande!

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Why did the dish run away from the spoon? None of them ran neither one has legs

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Why was the little boy hit by a bus? I pushed him

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Yo mom is so stinky that when she gets in a room every one leaves the room

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A black man walks into a bar holding a weapon. He is asked to leave to leave because weapons are not allowed in the bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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