Roses are red, violets are blue, I had some crack, my unicorn says hi.

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A: go away. B: No i won't A: Shutup B: Yes i will not go away A: again, shutup B: I left A: Thank you B: Your welcom A: Thank you for saying your welcome B: Thank you for saying thank you that i'm welcome A: Thank you for saying thank you for saying that I thank you that you're welcome.

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A duck walked up to a lemonade stand. The owner of the stand marveled at how close such an adorable duck was to him and proceeded to sell lemonade undisturbed.

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Who more attractive then you? No one your ugly as pooh.

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says "It's probably not a good idea that your in here, any sudden movements and you could seriously injure somebody. Our beer glasses aren't ergonomically designed for your kind of species. I'm going to have to ask you to leave"

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We got him in about five minutes, the kid will already be exhausted by the point we get to him, r rather, he gets to us. Pretty quick for a small geek I got to say, the photography we got of him is an obvious Photoshop, but he seems similar enough I guess. I would call, but it seems someone has been messing with all other "Erron`s" homes and phones if I had not dropped mine, I would not have noticed we have been bugged for a while, pretty professional gear too,

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What has two legs and bleeds between them? The back half of a dog with a deep cut in its belly.

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What did the Asian say after he had a nightmare? Nothing his nightmare was actually reality and a dishwasher fell on him and killed him.

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This blind man read my mind the other day. I swear, it's like he has a 5th sense!

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Knock Knock Who's There? Betty Betty Who Betty Sue Never heard of ya I'm here from the management. You have a present. I don't care, we don't take kindly to you city folks. But Sir, If you don't take this I will have to ask you to leave. Well what is it. It's your bill. Knock knock Who's there? Cowabunga! Cowabunga Who? Moo Moo alalalalalal woohoo i'm so high

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A man walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "What'll you have?" The man replies "Surprise me." The bartender proceeds to mix cyanide with the mans drink and loses his bartending license and goes to prison for murdering a customer.

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Giant scorpions, red roses, adoption, the holocaust, bars, changing light bulbs, and fridges.

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Why did the man run away from the woman? He forgot his rape kit.

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Dennis: you can make anything out of coppersulfate Austin: But copper sulfate can make things out of you

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Why did the jew go to the doctors? Because he had a severe headache.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he got hit by a car because he wasn't aware of the dangers of not looking both ways. Bufoon

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How many Polacks does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to change the lightbulb, one to hold the ladder.

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Why are there so many blacks in prison? *The rest of this joke has been removed to avoid causing offence*

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wanna hear a joke? i dont like kids wanna hear a lie? im typing with two hands wanna hear a another? my hand isnt on my weiner

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what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

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What did the child get from there parent on Christmas? Nothing. He's an orphan.

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why is caleb mears sucha perv? becasuee its calebbbb ahahahahahahah

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How does a penguin make pancakes out of skis? Purple because it's the best.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There is no reason. Chickens don't have the thinking skills to reason.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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