-How do you kill a douche? -You stab him untill he cries out in mercy and stops moving.

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What do you call two Muslims flying an airplane? Pilots

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 and 7 are non-living objects and cannot show fear or anger.

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XD, You must really like me Nero, do you think people have problems telling us apart here?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was jewish and saw a nickel on the other side

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What did the fish want to drink? Charlie Brown

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swings? She had no arms... Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs... Why didn't anyone help her up? She had no friends... Why did she die? She landed in a puddle...

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What's green and eats rocks? A green rock eater What's purple and eats rocks? It hasn't been discovered by science yet...

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A blond, burnette, and red head walk into a bar. They sit together and enjoy a few drinks while catching up on eachother's lives.

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The horse walks into the bar and the bartender says, "why the long face?" the horse looks at him and says, "my wife just died."

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Why did the man lose the a race? 'Cause he has no legs

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What do you get when a person and a cat try to have a child of some sort? Nothing because there chromosomes don't match, and there for physically impossible.

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Why the girl have a crooked leg? Her grandma thought that she was a pretzel and while the girl was sleeping the grandma tried to bend the girls leg into a pretzel shape

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A man walked into a bar. He was only 19, but technically a man. Underage drinking is not O.K.

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There are two parrots sitting on a perch. One parrot says to the other parrot, "Do you smell fish?"

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Roses are Blue Violets are Red I am High How about you?

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How many infants does it take to paint a house? Forty-Seven.

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Whats worse them finding a worm in your apple??? finding out your adopted

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reading another damn "worm in your apple" joke.

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Why did the Egyptian woman not manage to work the washing machine? The instructions were in English.

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what do u call a dumbass phone cia cias phone

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Yes, it's for the patiënt in the other room.

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Rsoes are geern Voielts are ornage I'm colorbilnd and Dixlesic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops