Id like to apologize for the one below (near the end yeah at the very end yeah that near you fuck!) When I said I give candy to etc etc I did mean I do not give candy to... Well... Nothing male, and I do not apologize, thank you. Shortie: Me as a Sociopath vs Sociopath with faster gunplay: So A Sociopath moved into my neighborhood, he arrived at my place and said hey you? You the sociopa... "BOOM" Moral: Shoot first, listen later... And if you hear something keep shooting... Anyway that was not the Sociopath but I got him eventually.

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What's worse than finding out that your dog has worms? Finding out that you have worms.

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Q:Whats yellow and white and sits at the bottom of a pool? A: A baby with slashed floaties Q:Whats red and gory and sits at the top of a pool? A: Floaties with a slahed baby

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Why did little Bobby put a firecracker in the dog's ass? Don't worry he used lube.

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My former roomate had that game, about some bald guy that can slow down time, but thats like supernatural or something.

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What did the duck say to the Pope? Quack.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Dandelions are weeds

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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what happened when spongebob and Patrick were mean to sandy? she made a hurricane

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What do black people and asians have in common? arms

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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what do you call a mexican with a rubber blanket cold

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why cant women draw perfect circles? no one can becouse it is virtually impossible

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Why did the boy get his head slammed in a car door? Because his mother did not love him, and thought it was an appropiate action.

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What did the Goldfish say to the Black man? Nothing, because Goldfish do not have human-like vocal cords and therefore the Goldfish cannot speak.

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If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, then they probably won't hear the lumberjack's cries for help either.

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How do you make a Bong Ki mad? Call him a Bong Ki.

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Y' can't spell rape without ape.

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What do call the time things don't go the way you plan them? Reality. bitch

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Why didn't the politically-correct lawyer laugh at his black neighbour's jokes? He had an incapacitating malady of oralfacialoaralysis rendering him unable to laugh or smile

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Why is Osama dead? He got shot.

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How do you make an ugly person not ugly? Put a bag over their head. With,, a smiley face.

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Q: What's worse than ten babies tied to ten trees? A: One baby tied to ten trees.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Come in! Come in who? I'm just com in' inside.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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