What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

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The umpire asked the baseball coach "Who is that on 1st base?" The baseball coach said "Who." The umpire said "Yes, that's what I'm asking." The baseball coach handed the umpire a list of his players to avoid any further confusion.

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Your momma is so ugly... Yeah, yeah, yeah my momma's ugly, but guess what, at least I'm not an orphan asshole.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing. She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally

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A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were driving on a highway. The redhead asked the brunette, who had the map, which was the next exit. The blonde was better with maps so she took it and announced where to go. They made the exit and enjoyed a nice lunch.

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How are baseball and basketball the same. They aren't football.

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roses are red tulips are too, violets are violet, not freaking blue.

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Why don't they have any badminton courts in the jungle? There just isn't the demand.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What does an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

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What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

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Why do you call a person who spits in your cheeseburger? A mean person

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Q:Why did the little girl jump in the pool and drown? A:because she didn't know how to swim

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's a free drink, you'll wake up in my basement.

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A dog says to a horse "Hey, why the long face?" the horse just looks at him.

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Red." "Red who?" "Red any good books lately?" Suddenly, the séance lost credibility.

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Roses are Red Violets are blue I am an onlince predator Post your address in the comment EJ

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The continent of Africa is mired in corruption, poverty, food crises, disease, and the exploitation of its resources. Happy Kwanzaa

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Burp

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have five fingers, The middle one's for you.

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Starting a Genocide #YOLO

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i've got a little something for you. in fact it's so small you can't see it. it's called spermatazoa

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What is less funny than a clown? Another clown ... but with fewer limbs.

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Why did Bob scream "Nurrrrrrrrr!!"?.....because he was mentally challenged.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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