You know you are really drunk if your blood alcohol Is higher than .08

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Whats worse than failing an English test? finding out your now exgirlfriend has aids.

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How did the blonde trip the brunette? She stuck out her foot

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How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

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how do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit on the way there.

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Why was the wife disappointed in her husband? He hasn't been very talkative since the suicide.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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That was totally mean! I mean I was in no way going to say any of that to you! Especially not the last part, sorry that must have been part of the suggestion or something, I barely ever tell myself stuff like that, I mean stop it okay? I mean I totally read it and all but I was all like "I am notnot typing that" please stop it, its humiliating.

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A nun, a jew, and a black walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, a joke?"

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- Knock Knock. - Who is it? - I am - I am what? - I am dying please help me. - Sorry, I don't speak with strangers.

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Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead of getting hit by the plane because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and ever since he was 8 years old he has wanted to die with his body completely attached.

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whats worse than biting your apple and finding a worm? WWII.

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What do you call a blind guy in a library? Kevin. Unless his name isn't Kevin.

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chuck norris will never have a heart attack because he has great cardiovascular health.

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Why did the woman say ow? She was shot in the foot

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What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers. -Del Primm

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What is worse than banging your knee on the coffee table? Tripping over one of the legs and smacking your head on the floor, causing a severe concussion.

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breasts

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What's the worst subject in school? None of them. You need school to get by in life. Get over it.

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69.

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What do the Irish do on their birthdays? Eat birthday cake and sing happy birthday

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Fruit loops.

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When were in a zombie apocalypse I will make sure to save you for 40 days and then I will sacrifice you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops