What is a good remedy for the common cold? A piping hot bowl of chicken-noodle soup.

What is rectangular, white and has two wheels? A limo getting its wheels replaced.

Your moms so fat she weighs 200 kilograms

Jo Brand no longer looks like a ball sack draped over a football.

a. get me a drink b. a would but but i got no arms

Why did the blonde run into a screen door? Because screen doors are difficult to see when one is running at full speed

What did Big Dog say to Little Dog? "We are both dogs."

What is the worst joke ever? This one.

Why did the black guy not like oreos? because he is a very health concious person and knowes that too much of a bad thing can make you fat.

Why did the father leave work early on his son's birthday? He was rushed to the hospital after facing a severe heart attack due to a history of cardiovascular disease in his family.

How do you cure cancer? do i look like NASA?

a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

Whats the difference between the Pope and acne Acne doesn't get onto a kids face until they're 13

Why did the black man eat the fried chicken? He was hungry

Mother: "George what happenend to your pet rock?" George:"I dont know." Mother:"Here! I found your pet rock. It was in the same place it was before!"

Ask me if im a truck are you a truck no

How do you kill a black person? Make them skydive 10,000 feet in the air without a parachute

How do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

I was raped the other day... I still did more work than the bitch

"What the hell is wrong with you?" "..."

*knock knock* i have diarrhea

Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs? So nobody finds he's been fucking hens.

Roses are red Bob is dead My name is Dave Your a microwave

What did the terrorist get for Christmas? A bullet in his head.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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