Why did suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock - who's there? Bob -bob who.... Bobs knocking for suzie!

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How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

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What did Shaq do when he first met Rondo? Play Basketball

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Lebron traveled

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There are 2 muffins in an oven One of the muffins says to the other 'Jeez it's hot in here' Then the other muffin replied, 'OH MY GOD IT'S A FRICKEN TALKING MUFFIN!!!!!!!!

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Why couldn't the girl find a date to the prom? Because she was really, really ugly.

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What color is cotton? White Well in Afrca, they grow black cotton

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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What's worse than the WNBA? The Cleveland Cavaliers.

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How do you make a mime talk? There are many ways. I prefer a baseball bat with a nail through it.

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What's green and red? A frog in a blender

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what is the diference between my left tit and my right tit .... my right one was cut off because of breast cancer

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Boy, is it hot this summer! How hot is it?! So hot that many people have died as a result!... Drink plenty of water.

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A man walks into his cubicle and sits down. After a long day of work, he goes home and happens to die whilst eating dinner.

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0000000010000000000000001000000000000000000000011111111000000000111111000000000000000000011111000000000000011100000000000000000000000000000000100000000000000000000000000000000000000001000000000000000000000000000000000000000011100000000000000000000000000000000000000111100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001111111111111111100000000000000000000000001000000000000001000000000000000000000000001000000000000100000000000000000000000000001111111111111000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 SMILE

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Q: A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? A:They both take turns, because they are driving across the country and it would be hard for one of them to drive the entire way.

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What do you say to a black man driving a car? Taxi

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What did Osama Bin Laden say to Hitler? Nothing, because they clearly never made contact with each other, owing to the fact that Osama was born approximately 13 years after Hitler had committed suicide

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Who did the dinosuar, that's pretty fricken awesome!

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What is the only non-racist animal? The mexican panda. Why? It's black, white, hispanic, and asian.

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what did your mom say when she did crack? i am so f***ed up its not even funny, i mean, i literally screwed the racoon in our back yard. i certainly remember a lot of drugs and alcohol. i am pretty sure i raped your friend, billy. I also went all lezbo on your girlfriend. i murdered your brother. he was telling me to stop, so i lit him on fire and made him eat cigarettes. the very abusive mother was then charged with murder, rape, possesion of illegal drugs, assault and several other charges involving that one crazy night. refrigerator.

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There once was a beautiful princess named Snow White who lived with seven dwarves in the forest. One day, and old hag approached her and offered her an apple. She bit into the apple, chewed, and said,"Wow, that's tasty. Is this a Golden Delicious?" The hag said, "Why yes, it is. I have a private orchard. Perhaps I'll let you see it some time." The two promptly resumed their lives.

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A young couple just gave birth to their first child and the doctor says, I’ve good some good news and some bad news, what do you want first? Give us the bad news first, the parents reply. Your baby has red hair, says the doctor. Well whats the good news, ask the parents. It’s dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to, like any other chicken

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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