1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

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Two friends are sitting on a couch watching TV. One friend accidently turned on a pornography channel. The other friend felt awkward and went home.

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How do you stop a friendly bear from bouncing up and down on your front lawn? Shoot it in the neck.

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If you come to Anti-Joke.com to look at the Newest jokes please leave a comment. Thank you!

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2 guys walk into a bar the third one ducked then proceeded homeward where he murdered his whole family by ax

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A: Knock Knock (pause) B: Please use the doorbell, it is very late and I like to be considerate of my neighbors

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall?? A: It depends on how hard you throw them!!

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A man walked into a pole barn oh wait I meant a pole bar so it actually hurt.

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How do you make someone laugh? Tell them this joke.

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Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from. So, you should probably leave.

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G:nock nock B:come in!

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What did the priest say to the young boy? Hi.

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What do all homosexuals have in common? Not much.

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A Jew walks into a shower. Gased.

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Is the glass half full or half empty? The liquid in the glass is not at exact half, so that question is not answerable.

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why did the jockey lose the horse race? he mistook his horse for Sara Jessica Parker

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered sex offender

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WHY ARE WOMEN SO HARD TO SLEEP WITH? Because the men are always hard while sleeping with them

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Your mum so ugly that she isn't married

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i get tired of this shit let's have some grey goose

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He didn't give in to peer pressure.

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How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get him a ladder and help him down.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? This website is terrible. Are you servers from 1990? I hope you all get cancer.

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what's small, red and sits in the corner? A naughty strawberry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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