why did the little girl fall off the swing? she was a double amputee.

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How can you tell if a duck is quaking? Hear it

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What starts with f and ends in u-c-k? a:****

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"My CiOCK is bigger!" "No! My CiOCK is bigger!": Two gamec.ock owners arguing over who has a bigger DiICK.

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What is the differnece between the chair and the pot? You can't cook in the chair.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Bob, your neighbor. Okay, come in.

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Why is my penis 2 inch hard? Because I rape little boys with it and there tight little asshole are crushing it

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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A lot eh?

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Why did the plane crash into the mountain? The Pilot was a tomato

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why was 6 afraid of 7? Because ever since 3 died, 7 had changed. He had turned aggressive and randomly snapped and hit out at some of the other numbers for no apparent reason.

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why did the black man sit in the back of the bus? becouse all the seat where taken in the front

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Terminator XXXIVXXX Regensisysydioniosis. Watch as the terminators return in this year`s summer blockbuster, they return to a time before the birth of Connors grandfather and manage to destroy the world, then the only decision left is for humanity in another timeline to travel back as the terminators are destroyed, but they travel back again so that! But that wont happen before Terminator: Los Pollos Hermanos.

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How do you kill a deer? You don't, you just let it be because that's what a decent human being would do.

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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What do you call a million pigs jumping out of an aircraft? Bacon.

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What do you do if you find blood in your poo? Stop stabbing yourself in the arse with a fork on wednesdays...

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What is yellow, has wheels and lies on its back? A school bus after a horrible traffic accident

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Charles. Charles who? It's your brother Charles. I came straight here from the doctor. I was just diagnosed with stage 4 testicular cancer.

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Why was the man with one leg good at balancing on one foot? He used crutches.

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How do you earn a bunch of money all at once? Walk into Hot Topic and say "I have knives for sale!"

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What do you call a 5000 pound gorilla? Obese - gorillas should weigh around 400 pounds.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? The horse fell in the mud

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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