A man falls out of a boat. What happens next? Well, you would think he'd know how to swim, but due to his alzheimer's he didn't, so he drowned.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

What do you call a jew without a nose? A most likely kind and interesting anti- steriotypical person

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Q: What kind of punch do vampires drink ? A: None... It's really blood, you should know that by now.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What happened to the little boy that went to The Penn State locker room? He had a great day meeting the team and watching the football game.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A man walks in to a bar. He gets a cuncussion and his heath insurance isn't enough to cover his physical therapy. He dies poor and alone.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What did one cow say to the other cow? Moo

thumb_up thumb_down +43

a man was shot.... he died

thumb_up thumb_down +41

whats more embarissing rhan being raped by a squirel? Being a 40 year old virgin working at mcdonalds

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What's worse than stubbing your toe? Slavery.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What's the difference between shoes and babies? You can't eat shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Q: What's worse than not having a good relationship? A: Starving Africans

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Friends are like balloons When you stab them they die.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What hurts more than a papercut? A chainsaw between your legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Elephants can jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why didnt the chicken cross the road? Because he got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What is the leading cause of death? - Dying.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

You know what's funny? You got AIDs

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Wanna know a secret? I didn't read or agree to the terms and services

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q:whats the difference between a black man and a bunk bed A: a bunk bed can support 2 kids

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did santa cross the road? He didn't he is not real.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops