Q: what's green and has wheels? A: a john deere tractor

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What did the man say when he found a bar of soap in his mailbox? Why is there soap in my mailbox?

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sometimes i put my hands on the floor tuck my head into my cheat and lean forward... because thats how i roll

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Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

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what did the deaf guy say when the poor man asked how life was? the deaf guy didn't respond considering the fact that he was deaf and would never interact with a poor man.

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What did the man dying of cancer want for his birthday? To live.

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What do you say to a jew with blood on his leg? Are you okay?

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An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar... However, it's really busy, so they leave and go to a different bar.

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What is funny? Your football official having a heart attack

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Why did the girl miss her date? She got killed.

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What did the black man say before he went to sleep? im going to sleep

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One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

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A blond and his wife were in the hospital expecting their first child together. The wife gives birth to twins and the husband turns to her and says, "I can't believe we had twins. I'm so happy!"

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roses are black violets are black i am blind

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why couldn't sarah ride the bike? She had cerebral Palsy

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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What did the German say to the Jew? Welcome to Germany we hope you enjoy your stay

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What do you call it when a dead man has his wallet stolen? Rob Zombie.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing, he found his tractor and went back to work.

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What's brown and smells of chocolate? Chocolate or something dipped in chocolate but that might also smell of something else - like bananas.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Whose there? Obviously not Suzie.

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Did you hear about the peanut that was assaulted? He filed a police report weeks ago and is upset by the sluggish nature of the justice system.

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In Soviet Russia, blonde is smart

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Why'd Carly fall off the swing? She got hit by a bus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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