What did the man say when he put his penis in the blender? Arghhhhhhh!

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Why couldn't Kelly finish her test? She spontaneously combusted.

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This isn't funny.

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A man found out that he had hit the lottery and would be receiving 300 million dollars, but he had to fly to china to do so. The man took a plane to China from New York and would arrive within the next several hours. Meanwhile, in australia a god-cow was producing infinitely large amounts of concentrated milk. His milk was so infinitely large in mass that it collapsed on its own mass and turned into black hole; absorbing the entire Earth. The man never got to receive his money from winning the lottery

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Your momma's so fat that she should really be concerned for her health and seek professional help to manage her weight.

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What's big fat and ugly? A monster

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Your momma is so ugly that when she stepped on the mirror, it broke.

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Why did the man say "huh?" Because he didn't hear what they said.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have 5 fingers. The middle one is for you.

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Wanna hear a race joke?.....whoops, ya missed it

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Why did the blonde die? She was slurped up by a 1,000 foot anteater.

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When Chuck Norris realized that there was a more superior being than himself. What did he say? Suck it Safka

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Why did the little boy fall off his bike? He was hit by a truck.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Fire extinguisher. Fire extinguisher who? POMEGRANITES.

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What sport do all black people like? This is impossible to answer because not all black people like the same sport.

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I just met you, And this is crazy. So call me Kony, I stole you're baby.

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Hold on, please hold on! I will explain, it is my name, but I don't know whats so wrong with it at all... Please give me five minutes, I need to use the bathroom, please don't go just yet, don't be mad at me, what have I done wrong now? I mean if you are gonna go to sleep or something please do not be upset with me.

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What do you call a broken boomarang? A stick.

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why did the woman leave her husband? after years of mental and physical abuse she has decided to remove herself from the situation

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A duck flies into a bar. The bartender allows it to stay because it turns into a beautiful swan. The goose then lays a golden egg and the bartender stares in awe as a giant bean stalk grows out of the egg. He's ecstatic and really glad he let the flamingo stay with all the wonderful colors and magic going on.

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what happened to the man who walked into a bar he slipped from the bar of soap and died

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It was at the war and there was a camp site where a doctors helped injured soldiers. One soldier comes in the door and holds his arm. The doctor says "You got shot in the arm?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and holding his shoulder. The doctor says "You got shot in the shoulder?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and was dragging his left leg across the floor. The doctor says "You got shot in your leg?" The soldier says "No, I stepped on dog shhhttt."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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