How do chinese name their kids? They drop silverware

man 1.have u sen my girl friend man 2. yes man 1. rely man 2. no man 1. dick

A jew walks into a bar He receives a phone call and promptly leaves

In Soviet Russia, the same thing that happens here, happens there.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a registered sex offender in five states.

Why did the chicken crose the rode? Because there was a 10 foot scorpion chaseing it

Roses are red, Violets are purple.

Chuck Norris once stared in a show called Walker: Texas Ranger.

What happens when you spend far too much money in a gambling machine during a solar eclipse on a leap year? You get poor.

Comes a giraffe on a scooter to the hospital and asks: 'can I have some flour?'.

Why did the boy find love? because if the girl did not love her he would kill her

Well, I'm naked so I'm going to go.

Why did Sara fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sara.

What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

How many babies can you fit on a ferris wheel? None, babies aren't allowed to ride

What's the difference between a lion and a stuffed lion? One is for children to play with, one will eat you alive.

How do you make a firefighter happy? Give him a blowjob and 10 million dollars.

What did the wall say to the floor? Nothing.

Human race: Let's play hide and seek! BOEING MH370: K faggotz :P

Sidney Crosby walks into a bar. Except its a metal bar like a pole so he gets another concussion.

Why couldn't the hobo buy any clothes? They did not have his size available.

what is red, white, and spins around real fast? a baby in a washing machine

a man walks into a library Who the hell reads

What is BIG, STIFF, AND FULL OF SEMEN!!!? A SUBMARINE!!!!!!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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