jack and jill went up a hill so jack could lick jills candy but jack got a shock and a mouth full of C O C K cause jill's real name was randy... ... and joe diragi liked it

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How do you get a blonde's attention? Throw deodorant at her until she looks.

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Q. why did the boy who just had his first kiss feel no emotion? A. He got hit a Croquet mallet and died

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What do you call a Middle Eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

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Who is the greatest cook ever? Adolof Hitler

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Knock knock Who's there? No one ever mentioned someone named "there" it's me, Jim

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Why are black people so good at basketball? they can SHOOT, STEAL and RUN.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Names.

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Two latino men are drinking at a bar. Suddenly, one man falls off his barstool, unconscious. Later that day, he was diagnosed with pancreatitis, and died never having dealt with his severe alcoholism.

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Why was the chipmunk watching TV? Because a new Family Guy was on.

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Gerald: Hey did you know I was named AFTER Abraham Lincoln? Gloria: Because he was born in the 1800's and you were born and named many years afterward? Gerald: Ah... I guess I emphasized that joke a little to much - I'm sorry this conversation happened

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Do you have ass-thma? Coz your ass is taking my breath away

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So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down, and orders a drink. After giving the pirate a drink, the bartender looks down and notices that there is a steering wheel on the pirate's penis. "Sir, are you aware that there is a steering wheel on your penis?" The bartender asked. "Arrrrrrr, it's driving me crazy!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon," said the bartender, "It looks very uncomfortable and could be dangerous to your health...not to mention your penis is out in the open." "Yes, you are probably right," the pirate agreed. He proceeded to get a ride from a friend to the nearest hospital, for drinking and driving can be dangerous, and steering wheels on penises are not safe.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A deer. The fact that it has no eyes doesn't change the species.

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A man walks into a bar, sits down and talks to the woman sitting next to him. The woman took out a cigarette, and offered one to the man. The man said yes, even though he never smoked before, because he was trying to get with the woman. They smoked a few more before the woman left, and the man left shortly after. The man became a chain smoker and died 1 year later from lung cancer caused by smoking multiple packs a day.

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A man walked into a house, He never came back out as he fell down the stairs and snapped his neck, His family mourn him everyday.

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I would like a rum and............ Coke." The bartender asks, curiously, "What's up with the big pause?" The bear looks down at his paws, embarrassed, and mumbles under his breath, "social anxiety."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get ran over.

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Jesus walks into a bar, the bartender shoot the zombie

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Whats worse then getting AIDS Math class

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Why did little Suzan fall of the swing? She has no arms. Knock,Knock Who's there? Not Suzan

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What did the blind man say to his teacher? Nothing, blind people can't talk.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? It didn't, it was in a chicken pen.

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Yes, I did not begin this alone, but things got complicated, you know who Alex Knight is right?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops