You stink so bad that you should cleanse yourself via shower and/or bath.

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Have you ever tried Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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You know you are really drunk if your blood alcohol Is higher than .08

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An elephant walked into a bar. By bar I mean jungle. Elephants aren't capable of walking into a bar.

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A man walks into a bar... OW!!!

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? because she's a woman

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your landlord your being evicted we need you out in 2 weeks.

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So, there's three blondes. Two of them walk into a bar. The third one missed it.

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When writing haikus Sometimes, I miscount the syllables See, that line has eight.

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A horse walks into a bar and begins to moo. Everyone is confused until it takes off its costume and reveals it's just a cow.

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What do Jerry Sandusky and Michael Jackson have in common? They both had sex with little boys.

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Justin Beiber walks into a bar. The bartender does not serve him because he is not the legal drinking age yet.

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Q: Suzy loves apples she will o anything to get her hands on an apple. A: You guys are so gullible!!! She DID eat Tom's apple. ...... then he killed her.

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who is the shortest man in the world? ADITYA DEV

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What did the chicken do? He crossed the road.

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what did the cop say to the robber... freeze bitch hope you like prison food and penis

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Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Q)why couldn't the baby talk? A)the baby was dead.

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Why was the black man picking cotton from the backyard? Because he enjoys gardening as a hobby, and prefers to do it every Sunday, after work.

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Do I know any jokes about sodium hypobromite? As a matter of fact, I do. It goes: "Do I know any jokes about sodium hypobromite? NaBrO."

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What happens when you mix bleach and ammonia? You eventually die of respiratory failure from inhaling chlorine gas and possibly an exploding toilet.

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What did the fridge say to the watermelon? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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