Why did Paul let Johnny choke to death? Because Paul had no arms.

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Why did the crossing guard drop his whistle? Because a kid got hit by a passing elephant.

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A man found out that he had hit the lottery and would be receiving 300 million dollars, but he had to fly to china to do so. The man took a plane to China from New York and would arrive within the next several hours. Meanwhile, in australia a god-cow was producing infinitely large amounts of concentrated milk. His milk was so infinitely large in mass that it collapsed on its own mass and turned into black hole; absorbing the entire Earth. The man never got to receive his money from winning the lottery

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What is the difference between Barack Obama and Simba from the Lion King? One is a cartoon character from a beloved Disney classic and the other is the current President of the United States of America.

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Why didn't Michael Jackson celebrate his birthday? He's dead.

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What do you call a skeleton in your closet? Evidence of a brutal crime. You should probably call the cops.

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What's worse than someone posting a number on antijoke ? Someone posting about what's worse than the holocaust

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What's the difference between and orange? The horse wasn't wearing a saddle.

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Why do black people like kool aid? Why It is a very hydrating and delicious drink

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Faith, Family, Friends, those are three words.

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Your mum's so fat that she's incredibly lucky she has a loving and supportive husband who values her personality over her appearance.

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A black man walks into a bar and a white man says "we don't allow coloured men in here". the black man sighs and walks out, wondering what he ever did wrong, and makes his way to the liqour store, to buy some beer to drown his sorrows over his mothers death. On the way, a racist white man shoots and kills him. Then, at his funeral, someone makes the joke "Wow, how ironic. The black guy was the victim.."

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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Why did the man cry... He got hit with a fridge

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Roses are red, But ravens are black, Please go to China, and never come back!

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I'm black and I will beat your children At checkers, they can have red

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what did the ox say to his son when he left for collage? bison

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What is big has a red nose and is funny Don't ask me I have never been out of my house

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What do you call Ed Milliband after he's been decapitated? Dead Milliband.

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roses are red violets are blue i've got alzheimer's ...

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What came in like a wrecking ball? A wrecking ball.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and my dinner??? Nothing...

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You know, people are kind of like trees, they tend to fall over when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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