An English man, Irish man and a Scotsman walk into a bar. And have a wonderful evening of multicultural entertainment and fun together.

Why did the man run over Suzy? He was a serial killer

cake cake and no cake, your life just ended

How many pancakes do you need to reach a 2.5m roof? Purple, because aliens don't fly

why couldnt justin beiber get into the club? because hes not legal

Why did Johnny's pants fall down? Because he was fat.

Its Eliza, hope you are still there, would you mind getting here sooner? This site is not safe, besides its cold here, I mean send somebody else if you got to, I might look frail but Nero taught me a thing or two, so I can honestly say that Nero taught me better than you guys just in case. Funny you say there is no code, yet add three, yeah you better expect nothing "fancy", Mr.Torture dungeon master. Honestly though I do not blame you, and if I really meant you where a psycho, I would not have agreed/asked you showed up, I am serious I need to get out of here.

Why did the elephant paint his toenails orange? Because he wanted to hide in the pumpkin patch

And riiight after you... Hey its always ladies first.

People always say if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say Anthony at all. Mimes must be full of hate.

We spent trillions of tax payer's money on the death of 1 man... wait that's not funny...

Why did the hipster's coffee burn his tongue? He drank it before it was cool.

What do you call a terrorist on 9/11? A terrorist.

How can you confirm that Saturday comes after friday, and that Sunday comes after Saturday? consult Rebecca Black.

A man walked into a bar with his parrot, a guy says 'That's a nice pet where did you get it?' 'From africa' The parrot said.

How can you make sure your friend wont die of cancer? Decapitate him

What did the Japanese man name his black baby? -Som Ting Wong :)

What's green and frolics in the forest? A flock of cucumbers.

What is the biggest lie of 2011? "I do"- Kim kardashian

Why did the bald man die? Cancer.

Whats funny about a guinea pig water skiing? The part where he explodes.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, your mother has AIDS.

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ME

Whats red but smells like blue paint? Red paint

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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