Why did the black man run when he heard police sirens? Because he was parked in a handicap spot

A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

what did one sandwich say to another sandwich? nothing, sandwiches cant talk

What happens when you run out of butter You ask antonio

Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

.why did 6 hate 7 and 8? because they were blocking her from 9!

Q. what is your favorite food? A. Chicken, burritos, sandwich, rice, hot dog, turkey, duck, carrot, broccoli, eggplant, apple, blueberry, pear, raspberry, blackberry, orange, grapes fries, chips, cheese, pretzels, worms, and candy canes.

Want to hear a joke? I hope not because I don't know any.

What do Whitney Houston and MTV have in common? They both REALLY died in the 90's.

I really want to know something would all of you like to go on Suspension for 3 weeks? Mr Goodwin

Roses are red Violets are blue I want to have sex But no one else wants to

What did the man say to th tiger? Nothing, a tiger is a dangerous and vicious animal. It then ripped him to pieces. Is family mourned after for a very long time till they came to grips with the death of the main income in their family. Aids

What do u call a joke with no punchline? An anti-joke

how do you wake up a cat? you break it.

Q: What happens when the Hydro goes out? A: The Hydro goes out.

Man: Hey honey! you look mighty fine today! Want to go play some lax? Woman: I'd love to! Thanks babe! Man: Just kidding you are a woman.

whats worse than 10 babies nailed to a tree? one baby nailed to ten trees.

A Jewish man and a blonde were in a DIY store, the man buys a box of screws. The woman gets a phone call to find out her son is late for tennis training. She then hangs up the phone and leaves the DIY store with great hast.

Well, I guess it's back to the drawing board.

What do you call hunter ? An anerexic that is skinny as a tooth pick. Duh

what did the man say to his cat? sex. -teagan doherty

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut, you ***ing racist.

Why did the blonde lose her job as a teacher? Because she was in a sudden and violent car crash in which she died a slow agonizing death.

Q: What did the ant say to the bush? A: Ernest Borgnine

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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