Why was the boy sick? Because he accidently ate his own feces.

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What's the difference between two elephants? One is dead.

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A white man walked into a bar, and an indian walked into a totem pole...

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Why didn't the lawyer submit the car accident he endured to his local courthouse? He was dying of internal brain damage from the shards of glass lodged in his brain from flying through the windshield.

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What's the opposite of Christopher Walkins? Christopher Reeves.

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Why was Little Timmy crying ? He dropped his ice cream. Why did he drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus. Knock-Knock! Who's there? Not Little Timmy.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Dave:Hi Mark:Hi

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Why is the horny toad named that way? Because its a misnomer of the horned lizard.

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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why was the little boy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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what did the doctor say to another doctor? we are doctors

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's Where am I

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What do you call a drunk, blind, deaf monkey driving a car? A bloody good driver!

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What do u call a man who is smart. A lawyer/ genius/ smart man

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So, a Turtle, a Giraffe, and a Hippopotamus walk into Stop-N-Shop. They are quickly excorted out and the Zoo is contacted to take the wild animals. The Manager wonders why they were there in the first place.

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What did the black man say after he swallowed the bicycle? He didn't say anything. Swallowing a bicycle is physically impossible.

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A family has been forced out of their house by ghosts. Who are they gonna call?... Their insurance company.

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There once was a man from Peru, he couldn't fit into his shoe. He went to Brazil bought a big. Swallowed it and died.

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whats worse then being married to your dog eating your dog out

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Why did Kim Kardashian's and Kris Humphries marriage last so long? It didn't

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How do you get to the store, if your car is broken down? Steal a blind girls bike, she can't ride it anyway!

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how do u get a bonar? u look at your mum!!

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What did the computer say to his girlfriend? I'm going to RAM you tonight.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops