- Anti Joke

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

Me: f*** off Asshole: YOU'RE MOM! Me: -is dead.

How do you kill half the Mexican population? through a penny of a cliff. How do you kill the other half? Tell them its still down there.

Why couldn't Gladice get out of bed? Because she was dead!

What did the Mexican man say to the black man? Hello, how are you today?

"Sticks and stones" the man said and shat on three different complex turtles

Your momma's so old, she your family should be proud to know someone who has lived such a long and full life.

Why did Sally fall off her swing? -she had no arms knock knock whos there not Sally

Where is Sally hiding? She was kidnapped and has probably been murdered, I lied about her hiding.

I heard you like getting dirty, so I got a dump truck to dump dirt on your bed so you can get dirty while you get dirty.

you just read an anti-joke

What do you call a person who is black? A black person.

Guy 1: Why does it smell like a wet dog? Guy 2: Because I smell like a wet dog

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Nothing, because he is an orphan.

timmy has no arms knock knock whos there? NOT TIMMY!!!

How many dead babies can you fit in a tire? It depends on the size of the tire.

What did one fat chick say to the other fat chick? Who cares, they're fat.

Why did the boy stay in the closet? Because the door was locked.

What's the difference between camping and molestation? I wasn't taken camping as a child

Why did Billy drop his ice cream? The Holocaust.

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? If the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are because there are no replacement light bulbs, the don't have transportation, and the nearest store is 10 miles away. In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

A man walks into a bar and sees that the pianist is just twelve inches tall. He asks the bartender, ''How come you have a 12-inch pianist?'' The bartender replies, ''We have a genie in the back room. He'll answer all your wishes, but be careful, because he has a little trouble hearing.'' The man walks into the back room and asks the genie for a million bucks. The genie then gives him a million ducks. The man comes out and tells the bartender that the genie misheard his wish. The bartender says, ''Come on, now! Do you really think I asked for a 12-inch pianist?!''

A little blind girl goes up to her mum and says, "Mummy, mummy, when will I be able to see?" Her mum replies "I'll tell you what, I'll take you to the chemist and get you some special cream for your eyes and you will be able to see in the morning." So off they went to the chemist, got the cream, and went home, all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited at the prospect of being able to see again. Once they got home, the mother put the cream on the little girls eyes, wrapped a bandage around her head, and took her to bed. The following morning the little girl stumbled into her mums bedroom and excitedly shouted "Quick mummy, take off the bandage so that i will be able to see again." So the mother slowly took of all the bandages, taking her time, and all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited. Once they were off the little girl said "But mummy, I still can't see." To which the mother replied, "April fool!"

What's three times More dangerous than a war? Three wars

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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