never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down

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A woman gets home from bying tampons to use later in the month. She walks into the house and sees a heart box with a note from her husband of 5 years. The note reads: Roses are red - violets are blue - Fudge Is Sweet - Heres some Fudge...........She then puts the note down, eats the fudge, and has diarrhea a few hours later. The husband comes home and feels bad because he forgot that fudge upsets his wife's stomach. Later that night the wife asks her husband to have anal sex with her. The husband agrees but later regrets his action since his dick is now discolored and smells of shit..........Two days later the family dog dies. The wife and husband mourn. I like cheese

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She didn't. Despite losing her arms in a terrible accident as a child, Suzy persevered to become a renowned gymnast. After several turns as a champion Special Olympian, Suzy retired from sports in order to tour elementary schools as a guest speaker. She inspired thousands of disabled children across North America and was a highly-respected orator. Suzy sadly passed away in 2009 at the age of 62. She is survived by her two lovely daughters, Karen and Michelle.

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A blonde is rowing a boat in a cornfield. While driving by, another blonde notices and pulls over and steps out of her car. She looks out and yells "You know, it's blondes like you that are giving us a bad name. If you weren't so far out, I would swim out there and beat the shit outta you!"

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You know what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Because you touch yourself.

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No, Sarah. You know your hooks scratch the keys.

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A man walks into me and I say: "WATCH IT PUNK!"

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Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

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Why did the black man get sent to prison? He had committed many crimes and was finally caught by the police.

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Your momma so fat that she went to the doctor and he told he to cut down on the junk food because she weighs more than the average human being

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Q. Why didn't the man tell his girlfriend about his big lottery win? A. Because it was none of her business.

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A White, a Mexican, and a Chinese guy all take a boat to go exploring.

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What does the composer Berg lack? Schoen.

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Q:Why are dinosaurs extinct? A:Well there are two reasons the first being a giant meteor struck the earth killing all the dinosaurs. The other reason you touch yourself at night.

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What's fatter than your mum? Your mum's mum

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Knock Knock Who's There Al Qaeda

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How many dead babies does it take to fill a bathtub? 17

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''Levi Johnston is running for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska. Ironically, many of the babies he'll kiss on the campaign trail will be his own.''

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joe: guess what. Bob: what. Joe: nothing I just wanted to talk

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Why did the paraplegic roll his wheelchair up a steep hill? Because he's crippled.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't. Her head was stuck in the oven.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Why are VIOLETS blue?

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How much does a dead baby weight? the same amount when it was alive!

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A cat walks into a bar. She belongs to the owner, so he gives her a saucer of milk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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