A duck walks into a bar and orders 2 beers and a shot. The bartender says "That'll be four fifty." The duck says he doesn't have any money and asks if the bartender can put it on his bill. The bartender says "No." He then picked the duck up by the neck and raped him mercilessly. "That's what he gets" one patron said. "Yeah, he was asking for it"

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Whats the difference between pizza and a Jewish person? Pizza doesnt scream when being put into an oven.

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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kara is funny she loves her money so she buys a bunny for her honey

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Once i was walking down the street when i saw a homeless man As i leant to give him money he jumped up and stabbed me. Now i don't approach drunk strangers with hangovers

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What's red white, blue and hilarious? Glasgow Rangers in administration!

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What do you call a person with no arms, legs, and teeth singing in the middle of the street while spinning? I don't know.

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What did the black guy say to the white guy? What did the black guy say o the white guy

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what happens when a hamster bites your arm? your arm bleeds

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What did the woman say to the dog? Stop shitting on my carpet your dickhole

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Why did the paraplegic roll his wheelchair up a steep hill? Because he's crippled.

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How do you spot a paedophile in a playground? You don't, there are usually a lot of adults around.

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why did the duck swim upside-down -he was on quack

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I wonder what happen to John? Oh John I know what happen to him. What happened to him then? He was playing on the bridge and fell off on accident. Is he okay? Damn women of coarse he is not okay!!!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Roses are red Violets are blue Roses are red Violets are blue whilst you reading this I just raped you

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learn. advance!

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What did the previously pregnant teen flush down the toilet? Her beloved pet goldfish who recently died. She had already given birth to a healthy baby the previous year.

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What did the dog say when the tiger bit him? Nothing. Dogs don't talk.

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three gay men were sitting in a hottub. a condom floats to the surface. why the hell were you watching them?

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What did Batman tell Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile

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What did Batman say to Superman before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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A blonde has a headache, so she goes to the doctor. The doctor prescribes some Advil, she takes it, and then feels significantly better.

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what do you call a polar bear in a bathtub? No soap, radio

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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