Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

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Women can vote? WTF

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What do you do when you say shut up to someone and they say make me? Rip out their vocal cords.

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HEYEEYAHEYAYYAEEAHHAAA

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Q: If your 17 year-old-daughter is a drug addict, how many cartwheels are you going to have to do to make it to Georgia? A: The French Revolution, because your grandmothers facebook shows an 11 year-old selling Concords to a green alien, which can only mean that over 600 people watch porn daily.

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why was the monster truck late to the rally.. because it had no driver

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What is the difference between a calendar and you? A calendar has dates!!

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A man is driving and hits a woman. Who's fault is it? The man's: pedestrians always have the right of way.

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whats red and all over the road your family after a horrific car crash

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What comes after 69? mouthwash

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What did the kI'd with cancer get for Christmas? A coffin.

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What did the goat say to the zebra? Nothing. Goats can't speak

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What do you call a black man running faster than a white man? Usain Bolt

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What did the Nazi solider receive on his birthday? A bayonet up his ass.

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Yo mama is so ugly that she never got married or involved with anyone in her lifetime because everyone was to scared and ashamed to be around her. you're adopted

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why was little jonny not playing in the baseball game? his legs were shattered in a terrible lawn mowing accident.

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What's red and black and looks good on a Jew? A bullet wound.

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What's the difference between an alligator and an argyle sweater? There are far too many conceivable differences between the two objects to be able to give an actual definite variance between them.

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How do you kill a lawyer? Stab him 50 times in the chest, slit him open and take all of his organs out one by one. Burn what you have left. That should do the trick. OMG I AM EVIL

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a horse is a horse. of course of course....unless its a cow

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? - "Where's my tractor?"

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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What happens if you don't use a condom? The person you are sleeping with may get pregnant or contract some kind of STI or STD. In worse cases you or your partner may contract HIV or possibly AID's.

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What do you call a moving tree? A hurricane killing thousands of people and 3 dogs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops