What did Johnny get for Christmas? Nothing. Johnny is Jewish.

How high is the grass in Germany? Approximately the same height as the grass in America.

Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? Yes.

The schoolboy said to the bus driver, this is my stop the bus driver replied "no, we have a while to go yet"

Why did the bugger cross the rode? He was tired of getting picked on

A girl hears a noise in the middle of the night in her kitchen downstairs. She walks down halfway through the staircase and asks if anyone is there, as if the intruder will say, "Yes, I'm in the kitchen. Want me to make you a sandwich?" *This will never happen. Movies are stupid when it comes to these scenes. No one will actually ask if anybody is there if they hear a noise in the middle of the night.*

It may be Stupid but its also Dumb. ~Patrick Star

Why did little Suzie spill her drink? Since birth she has lacked a jaw

Why do girls enjoy listening to Justin Biebers music? Because he sings moderately well and appeals to a younger audience.

Send creepy emails to this email address: matt.harrington@highlandcatholic.org

YODO (unless you're religious background encourage you to believe in an afterlife of some sort, be it of animalia or homo sapien decent.

A man walked into a bar, He then realised that he was likely to become the butt of a joke quite soon and subsequently left to take his kids to the park.

Opinions are like assholes, neither one can ride a bike, except for the assholes

Why wasn't the white guy voted for president? He had down syndrome

A blonde walks into a bar. She says ow

What did the serial killer do when his check bounced? He promptly deposited more money into his account.

Roses are red pineapple is yellow I'll shove your head up my ass so you can eat some marshmallows!

Have you heard of the mute man that kept telling people he could not talk? Its funny because its true.

A Hideo Kojima AntiJoke Typed by Hideo Kojima. Idea By Hideo Kojima. Concept By Hideo Kojima Spacing by Hideo Kojima Controlled for typos by Hideo Kojima Overseen By Hideo Kojima Aproved By Hideo Kojima. Reconsidered By Hideo Kojima Accepted by Hideo Kojima What took you so long?

Whats brown, large, thick, and sticky? a stick

Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, You Have A Face That Belongs At The Zoo, Don't Worry I'll Be There With You, Not In The Cage But Laughing At You!!! :D

Yo mamma so black that u can't see her eyebrows

What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I masturbate ?_?

Why did Susan fall of the swing? She had no arms... Knock Knock... Who's there? Not Susan...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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