Your mother is so fat that when she sits around the house she is likely to be there for some time.

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What's black and doesn't work? My blackberry

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A white man, a black man, and an Arab man are standing in a room. Who stole your wallet? No one, you suffer from ALS and therefore do not carry a wallet because you have no way in which to use it. To top it all off your medical bills are so high that your family would be financially better if you were to die and your dream of being an entrepreneur is slipping away as you realize that pitching an idea is difficult in a monotonous drone.

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My, you you... SEDUCER! XD, and there I go proving your point by going uppercase XD

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One night, a heartbroken magician named Jeff went to a bar. Jeff met a nice girl, and they talked and laughed together for hours. After a while, Jeff asked her, "do you want to see a magic trick?" She ate his wiener.

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Why the hell does my sister shower in a swimsuit every time? Its not as if anyone is looking! ALRIGHT! ONCE ALRIGHT? ONLY ONCE! But then she hears the sound of my zipper ONCE and the shit hits the fan! Which is weird, yeah suuure she hears it when I pull it up, but when I pull it down and stroke it and moan? Nada!

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How do you kill a lawyer? Stab him 50 times in the chest, slit him open and take all of his organs out one by one. Burn what you have left. That should do the trick. OMG I AM EVIL

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There are two muffins in an oven neither can say anything at the moment, however, because both are in excruciating pain.

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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What did the orphan boy get for Christmas? Cancer. What did he get for his birthday? He didn't make it that far...

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What do you call a woman outside of the kitchen? Out of place.

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What do you call a mulsim that tattles on you for vandilising muslim propaganda Target Practice

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What do you call a black man running faster than a white man? Usain Bolt

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WHAT DO U CALL GINGERS GABRIELLA

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What do you get when you combine a potato and an apple? A nice Apple Potato Souffle...

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Roses are red Violets are silly Grease up your flaps Cause here comes my willy!

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What do you call an African American sitting on a park bench? Elephant-man (I forgot to mention, he has a giant elephant trunk)

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Why did little jimmy fall off the building? 9/11

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How do you make a suicide jumper not jump? Shoot him instead.

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What does an Irishman say to you in the morning? Nothing because you only speak French.

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HEYEEYAHEYAYYAEEAHHAAA

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What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing they just waved

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how do you hurt sombody? cut off their legs.

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What did the Nazi solider receive on his birthday? A bayonet up his ass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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