A man is working at a bar. He feels a fly graze his left index finger, which has become a bit sweaty. The man rubs the finger for a moment, then continues to slice grapes for a customers synthetic japanese glue farm.

What happened to the black guy that rammed his ankle against the bed frame? Yelled profusely until it stopped hurting.

What's ugly and has shit smeared over its teeth? Smelly McD (He also wears bin bag clothes)

Hey i just met you. and this is crazy. I sent you my pubes in an envelope.

They see me trollin' They hatin'...

Q: Who was shot 50 years ago? A: Abraham Lincoln was shot 50 years ago! (=

Why was timmy having trouble with his homework? Because lobotomies were a forced practice in the 1950's.

How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one.

yo momma is so stupid she went and got her self checked for mental retardedness and it turns out she happens to be autistic.

What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? He called the police.

What happened when the old man fell off the roof? He died....

-knock knock! -doors open

a dedicated fat guy joins a kung fu dojo he is asked to dedicate his like to his kung fu the fat man dose not he is already dedicated to being a fat guy

The man walked into the church and stayed there.

roses are red , thankyou for stating that , i can now continue with gardening as it is my profession.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up? She had no legs.

this is stupid .... yep

How do I make my penis 12 inches? Tug on it.

What's funnier than 24? NOTHING!!!

Why did the Chinese Arab buy blue paint? He already had red in his basement.

My friend, who has struggled with a lifelong battle against anorexia, died yesterday..." "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" "Yeah, me too. The car ran the stoplight and it was all over...

What's the best time to go to the dentist? Whenever your appointment is scheduled.

What's worse than finding a worm in your pork? Finding half of a worm, because the worm you just ate is going to live in your stomach, breed, then come out your butt. Or the Apocalypse.

what do you do with a drunken sailor? take him back to port because he's not in a right state of mind to be on board a moving vessel

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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