What do you call a taxi driver eating on a gourmet restaurant? A taxi driver.

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Vicky is my best friend.

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How many Jews can you fit in an ashtray? None, it would be ridiculous to even try to fit one in an ashtray.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? The eventual extinction of humanity, followed by the death of the universe.

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I saw a sign saying Falling Rocks. But no, no it doesn't.

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-Knock Knock - Who's there? - Child Protective Services, we have multiple reports of you abusing several of your children...

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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Guy at computer: My computer won't turn on. Help desk Guy: Did you try restarting. Guy at computer: No. The help desk guy hangs up and the guy at the computer proceeds to cry because he has failed.

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Why should you never trust anglers? Because they're always into fishy business... Why should you never trust hunters? Because they carry loaded guns...

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A plane filled with English tourists is on it's way from Holland to Spain. It crashes in France. Where are the surviors buried? Survivors aren't buried.

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*knock knock* "Who's there?" "It's the police, I'm afraid your husband was in a car crash and died."

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a convicted rapist.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: In order to avoid being mauled by a coyote.

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Did you hear about the man who discovered the secret to making women happy? Neither have I.

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A old man walks into a hospital He doesn't come back out

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Why wasn't the tractor moving? Because the farmer was killed in a drive-by shooting.

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Why was the pirate not allowed into the movie? tickets were sold out

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Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Banana Banana who? Banana you glad I didn't say banana?

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Why did Kurt Cobain commit suicide? Because it was drug related

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Have you ever had a traditional Ethiopian Dinner? Neither have they.

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why do jews have such big noses? A: it has been inherited through many generations

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A Horse walks into a Bar. The barman says "Why the long face?" The Horse had cancer.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chipmunk fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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What do you call a person with no arms? Armless.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops