"This is defamation!" proclaimed the Fox, as he sat in the panels of the courtroom. "I attest, with full honesty, Your Honor, that never have I said any of the allegations the two defendants have quoted upon me." He looked with contempt at the Ylvis brothers, who sat at the other end of the room. "I say, Your Honor," he continued, "that I never, ever in my entire life, said 'Gering-ding-ding-dingerdingerding', to which I am willing to testify."

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What happens if you don't use a condom? The person you are sleeping with may get pregnant or contract some kind of STI or STD. In worse cases you or your partner may contract HIV or possibly AID's.

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Why did Martian Luther King climb the mountain? Because there was a KFC on top

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Why the hell does my sister shower in a swimsuit every time? Its not as if anyone is looking! ALRIGHT! ONCE ALRIGHT? ONLY ONCE! But then she hears the sound of my zipper ONCE and the shit hits the fan! Which is weird, yeah suuure she hears it when I pull it up, but when I pull it down and stroke it and moan? Nada!

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? - "Where's my tractor?"

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What has a skinny head and specky? Josh Moran.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

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What happen when a plane crash? Everyone on it died...

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a horse is a horse. of course of course....unless its a cow

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What's black and doesn't work? My blackberry

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why did the girl like dick? Because Dick was a nice boy.

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Poop

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Whats worse than being a jew? Having all of your friends viciously murdered at a party that you weren't invited to.

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Why didn't Suzie go to the park? She commited suicide 2 years ago.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Ryan

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What does a black man love more than anything? His family you racist c u n t.

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what do u call a blonde in the libary? alexandra wallace

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was trying to kill himself in the fastest and easiest way due to his drinking problems, which in the first place separated him him from his wife, who is fighting with him in court for custody of there only child ,Steven. He can not even pay the rent on his apartment or hold a job to pay child support..he is also in debt.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To save his failing marriage.

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Sally has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Your momma is so stupid your momma forgot that jesus did exist and has been proven by historians to have existed

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What did the man say before he killed himself? I am going to kill myself

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Why didn't Debbie go to the theme park with the rest of her family? Because she died the week before.

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What do you get when you don't wear protection? A baby.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops